Fat guy tries to run - Part 1: What you know about running? (HINT: Not that much)

So I guess this is my first entry for this short series, so here we go...

I somehow convinced myself that I should do my first ever running race, and for me 5km is pretty much a marathon...as to why that chick on the splash page has two arm warmers and one glove on is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure I need that kind of swag to step up my running jogging game.

Let me give you some background info: I'm a short, buck-eighty, beer drinking, wing eating, video game playing everyman with a bad knee that sits at a desk all day, every day. I don't run for fitness or leisure or even to catch a train. The first time I actually legitimately jogged was earlier this year for the Swordfish fitness test, where I laid down 11 minutes walking/jogging for 1.7 km. That combined with doing 0 pull ups that day was a pretty sad showing, but I didn't sweat it. Actually I did sweat it for like 3 weeks afterwards. It haunted my dreams.

Anyway, the next time I really ran was at the Banana Boat practices about 2 months later, where we stepped up our game and did 3 km fun runs after every practice. I think I only did 3 of those but managed to pull off 17 mins flat as my best time ever. That was the furthest distance I've ever run.

So with this race being less than a month off I decided that I actually needed to do some sort of training to achieve a respectable 5km time so that, when it came down to it, mothers with strollers wouldn't overtake me as I hobbled along clutching my liver. So I ran 5km yesterday for the first time ever and here's what happened.



Turns out that GPS struggles under rainy conditions at an indoor tack, and a cell phone flopping around in your basketball shorts is not ideal. But I completed it and while it pretty much just felt like I was enduring it I didn't stop or get any cramps, which kind of even surprised me. Confidence +1!

So with only 3 weeks left until the actual race I had to formulate a plan. Come on, let's be reasonable. I'm not trying to become a serious runner, I just need to know that I can do this.

So here's the tentative plan, taking into consideration that I don't know about run training techniques and need time to heal my frail body...

WEEK ONE: 5km + 4km + 3km (complete all distances without stopping)
WEEK TWO: 5km + 5km + 5km (get idea of race pace)
WEEK THREE: 5km + 4km + more horse steroids (practice races)
WEEK THREE: Race!

Based on the fact that my friend (who actually got me into this race) runs 5km in 22 mins, I still don't know what a target time should be but I'll figure that out once I get some more runs under my belt.

Without dropping some weight, pushing around this frame is no easy task. While I'd like to jog more, my feet and fat ass pounding against the pavement isn't exactly a smooth move and I can definitely feel it in my knees already. I only ran 3km + 5 km this week (Tues & Wed) but my knees already hurt and glutes are sore as hell. Perfect.

To be continued...