The world is full of haters because 2nd place is just the first loser...

Mang, my body is just straight hurting today. After nearly 2 weeks off paddling we had an intense full day of races in Hamilton - 200m, 500m, 2000m - in what turned out to be another savage beating at the hands of some fogies great learning experience for the team.

If you don't know that's a lot of all-out paddling for one day - some dude's tricep even detached from his arm and my guess is that it probably hurt a little. As a result, my rolls of fat fragile body is just plain sore and that might be why I wiped out twice riding on Sunday. Well technically I fell once on the pump track and crashed into a tree once on the trail, but neither were very smooth moves. Consequently, two children had to ask me if I was alright...it was pretty embarrassing awesome being covered in extreme sweat mixed with dirt all day and walking around Greek Town like that afterwards. Even my post-riding t shirt had holes in it so I probably looked like a legitimate hobo that afternoon.

Anyway, more on my recent series of suck further down...



I like Hamilton, it's one of the more scenic race venues, has a nice course and they have great technology and refs to capture our slow times.



The only sketchy thing about it all is that the start line is pretty far into the bay, and when the wind gets going it gets pretty hairy. Our boat is ridiculously left heavy and so we nearly tipped. Personally, I think it's the closest I've ever come to flipping in a dragon boat and I even panicked so much that I stopped paddling (noob move).

It was so not raven and I think I peed my pants a little but luckily I got pretty wet during the race so nobody noticed...



We did step it up to a higher division this year (and that felt pretty good) but since we didn't take home any hardware it only means that we were more respectable losers. I'm having a hard time convincing the girls on our team to take testosterone so we can gain that extra edge.

Anyway, we came second in the E division throwing down 2:26.17, 2:39.40 and 2:32.03 in the final. No doubt we are masters of inconsistency.



We also came in 3rd in our 200m heat with a 0:57.8 (fastest 0:53.2) and 7/14 in the 2000m heat with 12:06.2 (fastest 10:51.9). Pretty good considering we never practiced either.

On top of losing I also got pretty sunburned. Being a man I never wear sunscreen...or at least until it's too late but that's besides the point. Shit gets in your eyes, it stings and it also makes me break out like I'm in grade 10 again. Bruises on top of burns #winning

"Hey, put on some sunscreen. You don't want to end up like..."



I also managed to get out and do some riding on the DVP Sunday, but it was 100% struggle and I was barely holding it together. There's a lot of cliffs and ledges on the DVP so I got pretty nervous on several occasions.

Some dude was watching us ride this small bridge and while Kevin made it through pretty easily I choked. Dude was all like, "Finally someone else my skill..."

I did not high five him.



I also forgot to mention that not even 3 day after getting my first dent repaired, some hater wouldn't even let me go a week with a nice looking car. Can you even believe that?

STORY OF MY LIFE.



All the limited edition Pop Rocks and chocolate covered espresso beans in the world could not drown the sorrow caused by that type BS. I might have to put Operation: be paranoid and just damage every other car next to me in a preemptive strike because fate is brutally unkind to me into effect. Hopefully I don't get cheesed when I get to Montreal next week. Taking time off work only to get BS'd would be total BS.



Despite at least having some fun, I can pretty much sum up my experiences this past week through this Tiny Tower reference...



Like seriously, right?