Hi there, welcome to my blog.

What's this all about? Well, that's a question I'm probably not even qualified to answer. I guess it started off because I had nothing better to do, but turns out that I kind of like it. So when I'm not working for The Man I like to take pictures, make videos and write about whatever else might seem like a good idea at the time.

From dragon boating to mountain biking, to road trips and travels overseas - this is me trying to enjoy life. Clock out at 5, eat, drink and don't forget to smile a lot.

The Time Machine


This is a personal blog, all opinions expressed are meant to be in good fun - if you are offended by heavy sarcasm and jokes that are in poor taste then this is not for you. If you have any copyright related issues please contact us via messenger pigeon.


Thursday, December 31

Screw you 2009! Hello two zero one zero!

So long 2009, I barely knew you and that's fine.

People love to make a huge deal about celebrating New Years Eve, but maybe its because I never really have anyone to make out with kiss at midnight because even though I do go out year after year I don't consider myself I'm one of them.

Sure, its nice to clink glasses, dress up fancy and drop a ton of cash at the bar, but the whole wait until the last day of the year to do so ain't that big of a deal. But you know what happens if you don't make a big deal of it right? You get the, "Oh really? That's too bad. You should have went to [INSERT LAME CLUB HERE]. There were tons of people and it was awesome." Sure it was.

Maybe its because of the fact that as of this moment I still haven't decided on what to do yet, but I can safely say that for the last 5+ consecutive years I have not had a bad NYE. I guess the streak has to end sometime? We'll see tonight. I'm probably just a grouch... But anyway, it is nice to get tomorrow off though.

I hope your resolutions are in order because this is it. SEE YA'LL IN 2010.

Wednesday, December 30

Apparently girls wear more makeup than I thought...

While watching this...

I somehow ended up watching this related video...

10 minutes of that? Seriously? Mang, throw some Keri lotion on that and call it a day. I'm glad I'm a guy when it comes to that kind of thing.

As to why I was watching SNSD...please don't judge me, lol.

Tuesday, December 29

Shoplifters will be prostituted..

Normally I would say that when you buy stuff you want, you win. Forget about gambling at the casino or playing the lottery, when you straight save up and make a good purchase you come out on top.

But this year, I guess you can blame it on the recession or whatever, boxing day was 100% bust. Sure there were some deals out there but did anyone else notice that the sales leading up to Christmas were better than the Boxing Day ones? Have fun waiting in line for one of the 5 TVs per store, its only -10 outside after all. If the folks are Red Flag Deals say its a deal, then it is. When they complain, there's probably a reason for it. Seriously, those guys are amongst the cheapest most frugal shoppers out there and they all agree that the sales this year were nothing to phone home about.

You know what else was nothing to phone home about? Moon. The movie is about clones. Done. Save yourself the hour and a half. BTW, the director was dating a Korean at the time, which is why the station is named Sarang (translated "a love" or "a loved one"). Only interesting thing about the movie...

Instead watch Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea in high definition. It will blow your socks off and make your Saturday morning cartoons look like Cyanide & Happiness.

Monday, December 28

Music Mondays: Forget this shitty year and move onto the next

Vampire Weekend - Cousins (impressed with this video)

Travis Barker Remix "Forever" Drake Kanye Lil Wayne Eminem (just because)

Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead (best opening live ever)

And one for the ladies...Taeyang - Wedding Dress (if you're into that kind of hairstyle)

I hope all you hip kids had a great Christmas because its back to work tomorrow.

Friday, December 25

Merry Christmas!

I woke up this morning at 9am and couldn't go back to sleep, I wasn't pumped for presents, I was too lazy to turn off the alarm clock that was keeping me awake.

When I finally got out of bed and wobbled down the stairs to see our 2 foot tall Christmas tree lit up with all 22 light bulbs, I started to feel that old Christmas feeling. I know I said the Christmas spirit has long since left me, but every year when we open the presents and then my parents inform us we have to go to some relative house that we hate, I can't help but feel all Christmasy inside.

Being forced to do things and see people you don't like is all part of Christmas. Christmas is that one time of year you can't get out of these painful social obligations, but an odd thing happens, no matter how much you don't like the people you are with and no matter how much you just want to spend the day in your underwear, you are having a good time and before you know it memories are being made. It must be the Christmas spirit holding you in its tinselly grasp.

Christmas isn't about the presents you unwrap that came from the fat man at the North Pole. Christmas might actually be the only time you can get a present that absolutely sucks but you and your family can laugh at it and not have it ruin the occasion. Christmas is spending time with your loved ones and making memories that last a life time.

Enjoy the day. Get your re-gifting wrapping paper ready!

Thursday, December 24

Good luck you poor saps

To all those who haven't finished their Christmas shopping yet, good luck....including myself. It's a good thing I have no problem throwin bows on them elderly and small children at the mall, or else I'd be in real trouble.

I will now leave you with these two awesome pieces of media.

Toronto on Ice from Sam Javanrouh on Vimeo.

Wednesday, December 23

Adventures in China Episode 3

This is the last video from the China Series...and for 2009.

I tried to squeeze a lot into the 10 minute limit so ended up dropping a bunch of scenes to fit. It was either that or make another part, but I think my computer would have exploded and flung red hot fan blades into my eyes if I tried.

Filming sort of fell off during this period as well, something in the back of my head was also telling me that scenes of us walking around places like the Nanjing Massacre Memorial to a Weezer soundtrack would be a little inappropriate. I don't want to call that place a buzz kill, but we went from playing around in a park to being super solemn at a place where tens of thousands of people were murdered in less than an hour.

Solemn low five? I don't think so, that piece of history must be seen in person to be understood.

We finally got some of the other people on the trip to make some appearances as well, so instead of being those weird boys who talk in third person, narrate everything they do and seem to take a lot of pictures, we became the weird boys who think they are making a movie.

This is definitely different style of edit from the others, didn't use a lot of whole songs because there were so many short clips from everywhere, so it jumps around a lot. Don't know if its the best edit but its a nice conclusion to the trip...I think. Anyway, enough blabber just have a look...please have a look...

Monday, December 21

Music Mondays: Get your week started off right

Silversun Pickups - Substitution

Dirty Goods - Honest

And for good measure...Wondergirls - Nobody

Saturday, December 19

I would love to hate them...

..But I can't!

There are people in this world that you envy, but not matter how hard you try you cannot hate them. They are the people who are so insanely talented and successful you can't help but be in awe of them. Here is my short list:


Shawn Corey Carter, as his mother knows him, may have a geeky name but nothing about his success is laughable. He is worth in excess of $150 million, 30 + million records sold, he has several Grammys on his fire place mantel and is married to Beyonce! There is a resume to envy. I cannot hate Jay-Z for the simple fact that he is so obviously gifted in all areas I cannot wait to see what he will do next. The man has written and performed some of the greatest hip-hop tracks of all time and is still coming out with more! Prime example: Empire State of Mind. Easily one of the greatest hip-hop songs of all time. I can't even think of anything insulting to say about the man, and that bothers me.

Dave Grohl

David Eric Grohl. Even his name is cool! Except the Eric part but even that is over shadowed by his hair! I mean, LOOK AT IT! Amazing! Anyway, He has been part of or performed with some of the greatest rock groups of all time, check 'em: Nirvana, Foo Fighters, and Queens of the Stone Age, The Killing Joke, Nine Inch Nails and The Prodigy. You would this he would be happy with that legacy but NO! He has to go out and get together Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age) and John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) and make the super group; Them Crooked Vultures! When will this guy stop? I dunno. Six feet under? I can bet you any sound he makes with his last breath will be better than any song I could ever write and compose. He plays the drums like he invented them and like my friend Denise says "He can scream with the best rockers in the world or bring it down and make sweet love to your ear drums". Also, if not disgustingly talented already, he is funny and seems like a genuinely nice guy. I would love to hate him but I know if I ever met the man I would fall to pieces like a high school girl meeting Justin Timberlake for the first time. Speak of the devil...

Justin Timberlake

Here is the man that EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD loves to hate or at least tries to. Justin Randall Timberlake deserves the respect of every man on the planet because he is the ultimate male. He is an extremely talented actor, song writer, composer and dancer. He has dated some of the hottest women in the world. He pretty much pisses excellence. People will bring up 'N Sync and to them I say, so? I mean yes, the wardrobe and hair style choices were questionable but they made some genuinely enjoyable music. Even if you want to hold that against him his solo career is more than enough to make up for it. "SexyBack" made me take notice and by the time "Love Stoned" came onto the airwaves I was sold. Who hasn't caught themselves singing the lyrics to "What goes around...Comes Around"? No one, that’s who! I could go on for hours but I think you guys get the point. Basically when this is all over I want Justin and me to get an apartment together, preferably his place because it is nicer than my parent’s basement.

Time to get festive!

I must say it’s hard to feel festive with a lack of snow and no Christmas decorations in my apartment because I’d rather buy groceries than a tree. But last weekend, me and my new Vancouver friends (who are from the UK and Ireland and have delightful acents) took advantage of some of the free Christmas festivities happening around town.
Our first stop was Robson Square for some outdoor skating. I learned that this place had been closed for 9 years for reno's and with the Olympics coming soon there was a push to get it ready. It will be the International Hockey Centre during the Games. It's a great outdoor rink. They covered it which is smart with all the rain. Skating was free and it was cheap to rent skates. We had a really fun time. As a Canadian, you're pretty much born with skates on. This is not the case overseas. None of them had been skating for a good 15 years, some never skated. I hadn't skated since earlier this year and I was having a bit of trouble while kamakazee children weaved in between us.
They even had Christmas music playing and dimmed the lights as it got darker...so romantic, even more so when Caitriona and I held hands for balance while we skated. I had to laugh at the couples with the guy all good on his skates, and the girl - not dressed for skating at all - holding on for dear life and carrying her giant purse while she skated. It was good times. Glad they are keeping it free.

After skating the group split and the girls went to get crepes. delicious. Next, we hit Stantley Park for their Christmas lights display. We hoped to go on the train but it was sold out until a few hours later and we didn't want to hang around. So, we enjoying all of the lights that decorated the children's area of the park. There were tons of displays set up, even South Park had a scene. The best part was when we heard one kid say "Oh man, Jesus again" while passing a nativity scene. My camera sucked at taking pics of the lights for the most part, but this one turned out.

My night was made with this picture. I love Frosty.

All in all it was great to experience some of the free festivities going on around the city.

ps. I hope everyone reading this appreciates the positioning of the pictures...it was quite an effort...I was even editing the code! I feel pretty badass right now.

Friday, December 18

Top 5 blacklisted foods (that I've tried)

It's not every day that you eat something so vile that it makes you gag and causes your body to malfunction when you try to ingest it, but it happened to me recently. It was so NOT-enjoyable that I created a blacklist just so I could put it as number 1.

Believe me when I say that there are few things that I wouldn't eat, or try to eat (provided that I have the necessary shots) so this list was ridiculously hard to make. If I can help it, I will avoid eating these foods at all costs.

1. Halva

Maybe this was a one off, but there's a reason why this dish is traditionally served at funerals: there is nothing good about it. Say that maybe it was THE one off, I don't know, but I had to spit it out camel stylez because I think I died a little trying to chew it. And believe me I tried.

2. Tequila

The word alone makes me shiver. There is only 1 alcoholic drink that I won't order and this is it. Sometimes, like on your birthday, you can't avoid drinking something like this (because noting says friend like rejecting something they just bought you in celebration) so you have to...but at least it gives everyone a kick when they see you struggle...for life.

3. Ambrosia Salad

Why? The only reason marshmallows were invented was to be roasted at campfires, to be put in warm drinks and Peeps. There is nothing delicious about taking a hand full of marshmallows, dumping in a can of mixed fruits and then putting sour or whipped cream in there for good measure. Nothing.

4. Raw Ramen

Maybe its a white people thing, but other than this Korean drama actor I randomly found when googling for pictures of it, they're the only people I've seen enjoy doing this.

I'm pretty sure the 5 year old factory worker never expected for someone to crush up a sack of ramen of their hard work, pour in the flavor pack(s), shake it around and then eat it sans hot water...and neither did I.

5. Poutine

Just because I'm Canadian doesn't mean I like to eat 5 pounds of super salty thick cut fries covered in dirty cheese and instant gravy. I'm all for heart attacks from delicious food but not this way...not this way.

6. Urine

Dear Lyoto Machina, Bear Grylls and R Kelly,

Please stop unnecessarily drinking/playing with your own urine. Have a Fanta on me.

I hate you all

Seriously. Not even Survivorman Les Stroud drinks his own urine and that guys is hardcore. Correct me if I'm wrong, but hes practically struggling for life most of the time and I've never seen him take in a cup of his own pee pee. People will argue all sorts of things about it, but come on. I barely even want to hold the hot cup when I do my yearly physical...I know the receptionist doesn't want to either when I hand it to her.

OK, just to make things clear, I've never drank my own urine before which is why the list only goes up to top 5, but I threw this one in there as a bonus. Lucky you.

Wednesday, December 16

Boom! Merry Christmas to me.

Apparently I've been doing more Christmas shopping for myself than anyone else. Only about a week left until the big day and I'm now starting to feel the Holiday spirit...just barely. To tell you the truth, we haven't even put up the tree yet.



Yeah, I know I've been posting a lot of videos lately but I've been finding a lot of goodies. For example: Weezer & Sara Barellis on Jimmy Kimmel...and River does some rad jumps and screws up the lyrics, probably because he was checking her out...and by "her" I mean "her nose".

Tuesday, December 15

The best marketing team ever?

I watch a lot of TV; actually, I put on the TV and listen while I write awesome blog posts. In my many hours of TV listening I developed a weird habit, I don't watch the TV shows but I am drawn to watch the commercials.

I was once like you, I hated commercials because they took away valuable time from the shows I was watching. Now, with all of TV being so cookie cutter, the only ones doing anything interesting are the ones trying to sell me something I don't need.

I now have hundreds of hours of commercial watching under my belt, and I have determined that the Skittles people have the best marketing team in the biz. Skittles commercials make little sense but always make me laugh, or gross me out but either way they keep me coming back for me. Tell me you don't love these.

I think I have a new hero: Fabrizio

Here's one for the ladies. This has to be one of the most entertaining YouTube channels ever created by an a mere mortal (well, other than mine of course).

I swear, there's absolutely nothing un-enjoyable about watching this guy try to get some digits. Look out girls, he's a heartbreaker for real, eyetie styles.

Monday, December 14

Why The Phantom of the Opera was an awesome movie

Kick of your socks, crank the volume to 11 and book 2.5 hours of your life off, because you need to watch this movie. Yeah, I've seen the musical live and believe me it wasn't anything to phone home about. Even when that chandelier came flying down, the intensity level was still only at a 4/10. It wasn't until I found the DVD in my parents collection did I realize that a musical other than Mamma Mia! could be awesome.

Its only when you have King Leonidas himself belting opera lyrics like a jacked Pavarotti do you feel the power of The Phantom. And think about it, the poor guy's had a hard life. He worked construction, lived in the sewers, has a hard time with the ladies and has the face of a monk fish, yet he's still able to pour it on like Jon Bon Jovi.

Give the man a break, even in the end when you find out he's a real gentleman and a scholar, he still can't get lucky with the ladies. It's too bad really, because Christine didn't realize he had hot sweaty abs underneath his tux waiting to protect her from crazy Persians. Her loss...bitch.

Saturday, December 12

THE BEST show on TV

"It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" is THE BEST show on TV. Now, that is a bold statement but I have evidence to backup me up:

These are the lyrics to the song "Night Man". Awesome, right? I will agree they are a little hard to decipher so here is the translated text:

Night man, sneaky and mean
Spider inside my dreams
I think I love you

You make me wanna cry
You make me wanna die
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
Night Man

Every night you come into my room
And pin me down with your strong arms
You pin me down, and I fight you
You come inside me
You fill me up
And I become the Night Man...

It's just 2 men sharing the night
It might seem wrong but it's just right
It's just 2 men sharing each other
It's just 2 men like loving brothers
One on top and one on bottom
One inside and one is out
One is screaming, he's so happy
The other's screamin' a passionate shout

It's The Night man
I'm feeling so wrong and right, man
I'm feeling so wrong and right, man

I can't fight you, man
When you come inside me
And pin me down with your strong hands
And I become the Night..
The passionate, passionate Night Man

How could a show not be funny with lyrics like that? I agree the lyrics kind of sound like a homosexual rape scene, but it's not, it's about the evil Night Man and his invasion of your dreams. Don't be scared, though, because just as the night has it's time so does the day, man!

And that, my friends, is the reason you should watch "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

Outdoor Graduation: You must watch this.

If light of the 90cm of snow that dumped yesterday, which caused several ski areas to open early today, here's one of the best videos ever to get you stoked. If you are a fan of skiing, snowboarding, gt snowracers, skateboarding and other outdoor foolishness you must see this.

Voleurz has been putting together amazing videos for a while now (and pretty cool clothes), but every new one is better than the last. These West Coast boys sure know who to have fun.

You know its probably good when Coors Light is one of their sponsors.

Friday, December 11

Shanghai waterfront by night

As I'm editing the final Chapter of our China Trip I find myself trying to cram a butt-load of the footage into the 10 minute YouTube time limit. Consequently, a lot of the extra stuff is hitting the cutting room floor...as it were.

What I did was throw together a few clips of the night scenery that look like they're gonna get the ax, but wanted to share it with y'all. That will have to tide over my 2 fans (big ups Mom & Pops!) until I'm done the next part, heh.


Thursday, December 10

Music to make my ears bleed

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against pop music...in general. Most of it is pretty catchy, that's why they call it popular music. I like to listen to the Z103 morning show/drive at 5 to/from work, but since its a pop station all that new hot music makes it on there as well...which what I hate.

Ever since Lady Gaga burst onto the scene, standards have really dropped. I don't care about Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga is gross, Ke$ha is probably a chipmunk, Jay Sean sounds like he cries a lot and Miley Cyrus can stay in the US and party there. Maybe its because 17 year olds control the charts or the fact that I'm getting old (probably not), but the things they sing about are the worst ever.

While its highly unlikely that I'll hear Oh No Oh My, Wintermitts or Tegan and Sara (except for that one time with that douche Tiesto) out at night, you'd better believe that the ladies will go gaga over Bad Romance (haha)...which brings me to the other reason I like to listen to pop: in the rare occasion that I have a move and need somewhere to bust it, I kind of like to know what the people are busting it too these days...anyhow...

The solutions (for now): praise Peter Chao for the ipod/AUX input on my car deck and other stations like FLOW and the Edge. While I don't particularly enjoy their on air personalities, sometimes its nice to rock out with your co** out air guitar and get some head banging action going on.

Hopefully it will pass...but probably not.

Anyhow, here are some Canadian artists I like to chill you out on this Thursday night.

Wednesday, December 9

Chocolate Abs vs. Vicious Ninja

Who would have thought that a K-pop singer could make it as a Japanese mercenary? Although the storyline was pretty out of control, Rain (aka Cholocate Abs) provides some serious action in his latest flick, which is rightly named Ninja Assassin. Guys will love the movie because its about 95% action, but girls will also love it because Rain has his shirt off about 95% of the time. Therefore, it is the perfect date flick...I think.

Seriously, if Rain wasn't fighting 55 ninja at the same time, doing hand stand push ups on a bed of nails or slicing the shit out of everything with his kusari-gama, then he was kicking ninja children ass or getting disciplined the hardcore ninja way in his flashbacks...for all 99 mins of the movie. Rad!


Tuesday, December 8

The vampire problem.

The bloodsuckers are not all that glitter.

Vampire are huge right now, and no matter how much you kick and scream until your mom repeatedly tells you to stop is going to change that.

Now, I am going to be up front and admit that I like classical vampires, always have, always will. What I do not like is these new glittery, angsty teen vampires. The vampire is supposed to haunt the night and your dreams, not be the object of affection for social outcasts or the only ones that enjoys the weather is the pacific northwest.

The blame for all of this is undoubtedly Stephanie Meyer, the untalented hack who decided that the vampires were a bit to "bitey" for her tastes. The fact that Meyer defanged vampires doesn't offend me so much. What really offends me is the message that women are the weaker sex.

I was raised primarily by my mom, my dad worked a lot to support us, and for someone to send the message the women are in some way incapable of making their own decisions or able to handle their own life is infuriating. Also, the fact that this garbage is coming from a woman makes it even worse. What is she teaching the generation of girls growing up reading her Twilight series? Is she trying to make a generation of insecure and dependant women? Because if she is, she is doing a bang up job.

Woman are just as capable as men, and in some cases more so. What man reading this right now thinks they can endure the same kind of pain as a woman? Child birth? Have you seen that in action? Just thinking of it makes me want to be celibate and I don't even have to give birth to the kid! The physical pain is one thing, but what about the mental strain of carrying a life for 9 months? I have a hard time keeping sea monkeys alive. Brazilian wax? I am not letting hot wax anywhere near my equipment. Yet women pay someone to do it! You couldn't pay me to let someone do that to me, or at least no one short of Bill Gates could afford how much I would be demanding. There are many more examples but I think you get the point.

I have a plan to turn all of this around. If you see a teenage girl reading twilight I want you to slap it out of her hands and then slap her in the face. I don't want you to hold back on the slap either, I want you to go balls out. The plan here is to slap on sense into them. If you find a girl that slaps you back I want you to shake her hand because she is already more of woman that Stephanie Meyer will ever be.

Photoblog? Sure why not.

There's buzz all over the radio about the snow coming down tonight and for the rest of the week. This should make for an interesting commute...and by interesting I mean horrible.

Winter is officially here?

Blossoming Tree 2

Monday, December 7

Adventures in China Episode 2

I love to hate my computer. My camera takes pretty good video, but my computer can't handle it. Adobe Premiere works pretty well, but my computer takes ages to render anything. And in the odd occasion that I don't get blue screened, I probably used some messed up export settings and have to re-render it. Story of my life.

Anyhow, here's installation 2 of our China videos. Despite getting my external drive formatted by Acer/Windows, I surprised myself by backing the trip stuff up. Apparently I forgot about it though, but that was probably because I did it after being up for over 30 straight hours trying to get back to Canada...

Part 2 of the video covers some of the sights we saw on days 4-6, which passed by pretty quickly.

We started off learning the finer points about preparing and drinking green tea, bought a ton of it and made our way to Yiwu trade city to check out the import/export market. After that we visited Wuzhen water town, checked out the lights in Suzhou, then a huge movie studio in Wuxi and caught an interesting show at night.

Forgot to mention it in the video, but the LCD screen you see at the end is called the Skyscreen and its 500m long! Makes the one in Las Vegas look like you computer monitor.

Sunday, December 6

Pat Benatar was wrong

Forget love, the mall parking lot is a battlefield.

Christmas is a time for family, love, gift giving and shared memories... or it used to be. I am not going to lie to you guys, we are all friends here, I lost all interest in Christmas about five years ago. Actually, it may be longer than that, maybe it was when I got my drivers license and discovered the roads were not about freedom to go wherever I wanted or a gateway to wild adventures, but rather an exercise in extreme frustration and anger management.

In fact when Albert Einstein said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result" I believe he was talking about his daily commute to the patent office. I can probably pinpoint the exact day he thought of his famous quote, he was on his daily commute to the patent office and got cut off several hundred times, he wondered what the problem was, checked high and low for an answer, finally in his frustration he checked his lunar calendar to see if a full moon had snuck up on him only to discover it was December 1st and Christmas shopping had truly begun.

I might be speculating a little on the exact details of Einstein's epiphany, but I can't be far off. Every year Christmas comes around, and every year we all think it will be different from the year before. "Maybe that sweet grandmother down the street won't turn it a shrieking banshee in Zellers this year" we think to ourselves, but there she is every year, yelling and biting the hands of the woman she normally shares a bingo table with. I can take the yelling and screaming in the stores, I mean little Destiny does ABSOLUTELY NEED her zhu zhu, but I cannot take it when they take it to the streets.

Today I was leaving the gym, which is located in a large mall, and I had to summon all of the strength I had to keep me from committing vehicular homicide. I was waiting like a normal law abiding citizen at the three way stop for my turn to turn right, the person to the left of me goes, and following the law, I take my turn and go, but the person to my left had different ideas. I was about half way through my maneuver when she decides that the traffics laws are complete bunk, and races through the stop sign and cuts me off! I slam on my brakes, both in the car and on my rage, to avoid hitting this criminal. Now, normally I would fly off the handle, but I decided to just let it go and think happy thoughts. Maybe her marriage was falling apart and she was racing to couples counselling, or maybe he was hurrying to save a box of kittens from a burn buildings, but most likely she heard there was a sale on cable knit pink sweaters at Winners she REALLY wanted to her mother for Christmas. Anyway, shrugging this off was a big step for me, but then she had to ruin it. I am waiting behind this law breaker and she decides that it is me who is wrong, and she lets me know this by repeatedly show me the middle digit on her right hand. I am not normally a violent person, but on this day, my friends, my fists had "murder" written all over them. When we finally got onto the open road I tried to pull along side this outlaw to express my displeasure, but my 1994 corolla was no match for her 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee and she sped away. What would I have done if I had caught up to her? Well, that is for scholars to pontificate for years to come, but I can guarantee you it would have been hells bells, not Christmas chimes, she would have been hearing.

Is it ski season yet?

Here's LINE's 2009 edit to get you geared up for Winter...although there's not too much of it yet up here in Toronto.

Wax your boards and sharpen your skis, this season should be legen...wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of this word is...dary!

Friday, December 4

My life on the bus

I've become a slave to the bus/public transit since moving to Vancouver. It's usually not too bad, except when you get on and the driver starts going before you've sat down so then you stumble to sit down gracefully while everyone watches you or when you're on the other side of the street and you watch your bus go by.

So tonight I'm on my way home from work and the bus is packed. Like it's so packed an ass is inches from my face. Anyhoo we're driving along and it starts to smell funny. First I think it's me cuz I've been to the gym...but no...there is a girl eating hard-boiled eggs on the bus. Whole eggs! Let me tell you that is the worst bus snack ever. I couldn't stop staring at her, with a disguested look on my face, hoping she'd read my thoughts and stop eating the eggs. But she did not...just kept eating away, one egg at a time. Gross. I was so glad to get off that bus.

I need to write a book on bus etiquette. First chapter: eating on the bus.

Tiger Woods voicemail slow jam remix

You know, I was hoping to post Part 2 of my China travels today but since my computer/Windows 7 seems to have a hard time rendering HD video, it will have to wait another day...story of my life.

Anyhow, with all the Tiger hoopla still going around you kind of feel sorry for the guy...but then you remember that he has more money than you, sexes hot chicks all the time and is sponsored by Nike, and then you don't mind him taking a little heat from the media/everyone ever.

It wasn't so much the video I liked but the comments afterwards, so I copied and pasted a couple for your/my enjoyment.

Start your weekend right...

Thursday, December 3

Dear Rampage, you are now the worst TUF coach ever

Don't get me wrong, he's a funny guy and I was all about him kicking Rashad's ass, but this season was just downright shameful. Every time he starts one of those unnecessary arguments, Rampage makes Rashad look like he has an IQ of 110.

I guess its no wonder that he decided to make the jump to acting, and its probably for the best that he left the UFC? I dunno though, I'm not even sure Jessica Biel's broad shoulders and super sexy firm buttocks can save the A-Team movie remake (Please refer to how Jessica Biel helped ruin Blade). I'm probably still going to go watch it though...

On the other hand, although I've been blue screened twice already in Windows 7 (in less than a week), I kind of like the new Paint.

Wednesday, December 2

Clubs aren't the only thing Tiger likes to throw around...

Now that the media buzz has hit critical mass its probably time to weigh in...

"Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favour. Can you please take your name off your phone. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye."

Considering that Tiger Woods' wife is a swimsuit model you kind of get an idea for the type of girls that the guy likes to sleep hang out with. Nobody's perfect, but apparently Tiger's fatal flaw is that he's a certified P.I.M.P.

I guess one smoking hot woman is not enough to satisfy a Tiger's ferocious appetite.

Good luck Mr. Woods, hope you don't lose half your haul to Elin in the divorce.

Update: Tiger Woods comes clean...sort of.