Hi there, welcome to my blog.

What's this all about? Well, that's a question I'm probably not even qualified to answer. I guess it started off because I had nothing better to do, but turns out that I kind of like it. So when I'm not working for The Man I like to take pictures, make videos and write about whatever else might seem like a good idea at the time.

From dragon boating to mountain biking, to road trips and travels overseas - this is me trying to enjoy life. Clock out at 5, eat, drink and don't forget to smile a lot.

The Time Machine


This is a personal blog, all opinions expressed are meant to be in good fun - if you are offended by heavy sarcasm and jokes that are in poor taste then this is not for you. If you have any copyright related issues please contact us via messenger pigeon.


Tuesday, August 31

Toronto Roller Derby Pictures

It's a pretty rad scene with a very Torontonian crowd. Kids were running around, groups of cougars were celebrating their birthdays, tons of hip chicks and lots of tattoos everywhere but no bikers...

"The Toronto Roller Derby League (ToRD) is the largest flat-track derby league in Canada boasting nearly 80 active skaters! The Gore-Gore Rollergirls, Chicks Ahoy!, Death Track Dolls, Smoke City Betties, and CN Power (our all-star travel team) are thrilled to bring Toronto the finest jams, checks, hits, blocks, knocks, bumps and bruises yet seen on wheels!"

This is what I could gather from my first time ever seeing one of these things in real life...

A match is called a bout and consists of two 30 minute halfs. During each half teams skate as many jams as possible.

Toronto Roller Derby - 010

Each jam begins from a dead start, can last as long as 2 minutes or until the lead jammer calls it off.

Toronto Roller Derby - 041

The jammers - who actually score the points - start staggered from the main pack. On the 1st whistle the main pack starts moving and on the 2nd whistle the jammers take off.

Toronto Roller Derby - 017

The first jammer to pass the pack becomes the lead jammer, and after passing the pack, jammers score points for every opposing team member they lap. The hitting comes into play because they're trying to prevent that.

Toronto Roller Derby - 075

The skaters with the lines on their helmets are called the pivots and they control the pace of their team's pack during each jam. I think team members have to stay within a certain distance of their pivot.

Toronto Roller Derby - 062

The lead jammer can call the end of the jam by touching their helmet then giving the suck it sign (repeatedly).

Toronto Roller Derby - 020

They also give penalties for players who do illegal stuff like boob punches and there's like 8 refs during a bout because there's so much stuff going on.

Toronto Roller Derby - 072

Skaters also need a minimum of 5 tattoos and must not have problems wearing booty shorts to participate.


Monday, August 30

Leave it until the last dragon boat practice for someone to need an ambulance...

Well it happened at the final practice of Banana Boat's 2010 season. After a pretty grueling session in preparation for GWN, one of out teammates got KO'd right after we got off the boat. The paramedics had to come and take her away on a gurney - it was pretty savage and we're not exactly sure what happened.

I'm not going to lie, it was a pretty tough one - probably #3 or 4 on the list - but you just gotta keep pushing unless you know something is seriously wrong. I joke about it all the time but there's a difference between giving up, pushing the limit and pushing the limit of life. No one but you can know and my psychic abilities are not what they used to be so...

Anyway, here's something a little more fun. After not being able to find the burger spot for the after practice lunch, we bailed and Woody's Burgers struck again.

Woody's Burgers Smokey Turkey (2)
Woody's Burgers Weekly Specials

Saturday, August 28

Turns out roller derbies are awesome

Checked out the Toronto Roller Derby League last night - those chicks really giv'er. The venue is literally a sweat-fest because of the hundreds of people there and lack of actual AC, but turns out that roller derby bouts are super entertaining. FYI it was held in a airplane hanger at Downsview.

It was not a super gigantic event but I was at least sweaty guy #773. They sure fit a lot of people into this hangar.

Roller Derby Ticket

I'll post the set later.

Feels good to actually sleep in my own bed tonight - last dragon boat practice for BB's season tomorrow.

Friday, August 27

Scott Pilgrim vs. Everything

Say what you want but I'm a big fan of Metric so when you add Scott Pilgrim to the mix how can you lose. Well turns out if you pre-ordered the OST you get the Clash At Demonhead version of Black Sheep sang by Brie Larson as bonus track 23. If you pre-ordered the Deluxe OST you get that plus the Clash At Demonhead performing at Lee's Palace music video. If you're a sucker like the rest of us you get neither and have to watch them on YouTube.

I'll have to admit that the soundtrack is pretty pimp but I like the Brie Larson version better than the Metric - baby I know. Chick's got attitude and is super cute.

I'm so going to buy this movie on Blu-ray then buy a PS3 so I can watch it on my 13" VHS/TV Combo.

As usual TGIF.

Thursday, August 26


Ready for your daily dose of seizure? It's time for a change, so here it is.

This thing is a work in progress so bear with me...the old posts may look a bit wonky though cause the column size is a bit smaller. I actually changed a bunch of them because I have nothing better to do because I got bored. Anyway, I'm not too sure about this left column thing and I still gotta come up with some sort of bio to put there. For the moment I'll quote someone. The next line is all me.

Welcome to the future, hope you stick around.

Wednesday, August 25

Working on a new layout...

So I made one tonight and it looks something like this...

Just gotta figure out how to turn it into blogger whatever...don't even ask me how I managed to do this one...

I'm no graphic designer so these are the only two images that I'm going to use in it. So here's a tip: Embed them into a post then it's basically hosted on blogger and you can just link to them in your code *gives you the finger gun*and winks*

Don't like it? Well haters gonna hate...

Look on the bright side baby...

I think that my body is finally recovered from the ridiculous consecutive days of celebratory eating that took place over the weekend - and by that I mean I probably took like 34 dumps to get the bloated feeling out of my system. The fact that my bike is in the shop didn't help much either. At least I can say that all the fiber in the beer probably helped with the digestion maybe.

Anyway, I don't like to make a big deal out of my birthday which is why I guess I like to keep things pretty low key. For the most part my mom thinks family is super important (I don't disagree) and always wants to get the cousins under one roof to spend time together on events like these. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends but I also have extremely poor organizational skills. I'm a firm believer in being lazy letting things happen naturally.

I can't complain though, I love to shoot the shit with the fam over delicious food and cold beer. When we have BC crab and lobsters one night then steak, ribs and shrimp the size of bananas the next I don't mind...and not to mention the best thing ever: ice cream cake. Mamma bird sure knows how to take care of her flock.

Anyway, here's something totally unrelated but equally awesome. It's the preview for voleurz's 2010 movie. Solid.

Tuesday, August 24

Biking the Don Valley Video

It's fun. I'm going to try and get out there again this week after work. Hopefully it's a little less busy than the weekend. FYI this map is only a small section of the trails. They go all along the Don and each section I think has it's own map. This just happened to be where we started.

Crothers Woods aka The Don Valley Parkway Trail Map

At least it seems were starting to fall a bit less...or something like that.

Just for the record when I say that I wear bike shorts I mean under my Race Face shorts. No one needs to see that.

Sunday, August 22

Mountain Biking in Downtown Toronto

It's surprising you know, being able to mountain bike in the heart of downtown Toronto. When I first heard about it, I was doubtful, but turns out it's pretty legit and a super fun ride.

One thing though is that since most of it is alongside cliff's edges (like above), if it's muddy or raining you'll probably die or at least break your spine...or fall into polluted sewage rivers and get AIDS...

For most of the trails it seems that you'll have to get off the beaten path (aka not on the map) to find the good stuff. There's even some north shore features along with other super sketchy man made stuff. Kevin's buddy broke his rib on this sketchy see-saw.

There's even a dirt jump park with a pump track if you look hard enough. I went there and threw down. True story.

The only thing is there's a lot more traffic than I'm used to although it's not a big deal. Also, since the trail runs along downtown there's a lot of places you can break off to and stop for a break. Apparently the Dairy Queen at the top of Pottery Road is a big one and the Loblaws at one of the trail entrances.

It's definitely an awesome weeknight ride that you don't have to go far for.

Friday, August 20

Hello all you non-finishers...

Looks like Banana Boat made a cameo in someone else's video other than mine. I was wondering if that picture would ever show up somewhere - turns out it was a video.

We were definitely as happy as we looked. Ok, well maybe just me. First medal ever!

Thursday, August 19

Video games and steaks...Life's good.

Sometimes the gaming gods smile upon you and remind you that it's really OK to geek out, no matter what age you are.

It just so happened that yesterday while going to play arcade games checking out the batting cages at the Playdium, the system crashed and we got a few hours of free play. Boomshakalaka! They were not letting people in because of this so some late comers and even one family that came all the way from London (Ontario) got turned away. Suckers.

Then thanks to the twins, we proceeded to eat delicious and super cheap steaks at this restaurant off Dixie called Master Steaks (they seem to know where the interesting hangouts are). I wouldn't exactly call the steaks masterful and the place was a bit of a dive, but usually the good ones are...sometimes. When you get that much meat for so little, how can you deny your hunger? Hello second dinner.

Here's a sample of the random deals the have - note the loonie for size reference, lol. Even $2.10 home made beers exist there. Apparently shirts and shoes are optional as well, but to be fair there was even a guy in a suit.

Sample of the Master Steaks Menu
Master Steaks Porter House
Master Steaks - Bring your appetite.

Wednesday, August 18

Dangerous vs. Reckless

Which is which?

Those messengers/couriers are giving bikers a bad rap...that ain't cool.

Tuesday, August 17

Mountin Biking at Kelso Conservation Area

Despite the fact that I had to put in some hours on Sat/Sun for work, I still managed to schedule the shit out of this past weekend and have some fun. I banked some solid lieu and ate some super hot wings (amongst other unhealthy things). Somewhere in there I also managed to pull a lat muscle (not fun) and steer a dragon boat. As a result however, I probably went to sleep at 10 pm on Sunday - I can't even remember the KO. It's better to burn out than to fade away right?

At least my Weekend Warrior status is maintained.

Also turns out that I like the Stone Roses. Riding the Don tonight. North shore in Toronto? That's ridiculous.

Monday, August 16

IFH Mondays

Is it Friday yet?

Sunday, August 15

Mountain Biking at Glen Eden is awesome.

So I rode Kelso yesterday aka Glen Eden Ski Area and it's probably one of the most technical/fun places I've been to so far this year. Funny how looking through the video everything seems not so steep as shit as it actually was. In the words of Kevin, his body took a savage beating (from the falling), especially on the downhill.

There's 16km of trails there, but you have to climb the ski area to get up to most of them. That was not fun. We walked it. It seemed a lot smaller than the trail map, but to be fair we rode certain runs many times (because they were awesome) and didn't check out a bunch of them. You can connect onto the Bruce trail to find other loops as well.

Once up, you'll find marked trails just like ski hills. The black diamonds are actually pretty tough and gear selection was super tricky because of all the rocks and super tight turns or breakneck speeds.

One of the really fun things about the place is that there are tons of cool features scattered on and off the trails for you to hit (if you dare). From skinnies over rocks to this see-saw type thing, they're everywhere.

A lot of them are just found as alternate sections around trees or rocks on the trail so they actually flow with it. There is a sort of opening along one of the black diamonds where they put a bunch of features (see a couple screenshots above), but except for that it's not like you have to go out of the way to find them.

Definitely worth the $6.25 you pay to get in. If you come in from the Steeles Ave entrace you can probably dishonor the honor system and get in for free. Lamers.

Saturday, August 14

Scott Pilgrim, definitely not like the book...

Well the tail end anyway and I'm sorta glad. I was really wondering how the director could possibly pack something that took 6+ years in the making into 2 hours, but was relieved that he didn't ruin it in the least. It was super funny, action packed and referenced everything I enjoy ever. My mouth muscles hurt from smiling so much. It's definitely a win / made my top 10.

The fight scenes were actually pretty intense (which I wasn't expecting at all), all the random quirks from the book made it in (I wondering how they were gonna deal out all that randomness), the actors were awesome and Knives Chau was super cute. I have to go stalk her in real life now...thanks

It would have definitely hit the #1 spot but I thought it lost a bit too much speed midway, considering how jam packed it was right off the bat. But to put it into perspective it went from about 228km/h to like 172km/h (take that you Americans). Inception, I would rate at a pedestrian 80 km/h. Scott Pilgrim was like ADD awesomeness from the 90s. Go watch it.

Here's a primer.

I also want to make an honorable mention to this burger joint we hit up today...despite the fact that it's in Etobicoke. Say hello to Woody's Canadian hardwood grilled burgers. That's right, hardwood grilled. By Mexicans!

Boom Beef Burger with Pulled Pork, Woody's Burgers, Etobicoke

I'm riding at 9:30 tomorrow but I'm blogging at 2am...I regret this decision immediately. Pew pew!