Ski resorts are run by Australians...

It's a weird feeling to have lost your voice due to violent coughs. You try to talk but all that comes out is a depressing shell of that awesome man-voice that once was. I don't know if if this is how people usually lose their voice, but talking above a whisper or breathing too deeply with throw me into a 10-minute cough-a-thon that's enjoyed by no one. But at least it's not a fever...

Anyhow, here's my Monday morning generalization/stereotype for you (and improper use of the colon): towns like Golden and Revelstoke are run by three types of people: locals, ski bums and Australians.

The Locals - These guys are raised by the thin air and deep snow. They don't care that you're from out of town, aren't concerned with your lack of skill, just get out of their way when they hike past you and mind the beard. They usually have the fattest skis and watching these guys shred is usually like watching a movie. Somehow their snowpants are always pretty dirty from carving the mud well into spring but it's all steeze since they do what they want.

The Ski Bums - I don't know where these kids come from but they'll take any job they can get for that free ski pass. Cleaning rooms, washing dishes, serving fries, whatever. They might make $10/hr, but considering that this job gets them unlimited $80/day lift tickets and access to whatever they want, they do what they need to do and just love life. Get your degree kids, but thanks for giving me way too much yam fries working the line high though.

Australians - I don't know if hospitality degrees are a popular thing down under but odds are if you're somewhere awesome, then a hot Australian hostess with long dark hair, deep sultry eyes, drop-dead smile and swangin' hips is probably going to check you out in and tell you there's extra blankets in the closet. I don't know if it just works out that way, but somehow they're just all straight gorgeous. Hearing them talking about skiing the back country just warms your heart. Skiing Ayers rock must get boring pretty quick, eh?

Compared to where I live, these towns are small. Real Small. You gotta really love it if you're going to travel halfway across the planet to take up a desk job or clean rooms. Work hard and play hard - it's an envious lifestyle really.

Golden - 13+ KM Away from the resort.



Revelstoke - Pretty much connected to the edge of the town.



Ahh, Monday...

I bet Keanu never gets the flu.

Like shit. This is killing me. Every time I think I'm making some sort of comeback this flu comes out of nowhere and delivers an axe kick to my right lung, sending me back to the toilet bed (turns out the runs while sweating bullets and freezing cold is no walk in the park).

This doctor at the walk in clinic tried her best to convince me that a spider has not laid a nest in my chest which has hatched and it's babies are eating me from the insides, but I have yet to see the results from the x-rays so that must still be the explanation to this all.

Over the past week I think I've consumed about 4 cans of soup, a banana, three oranges and two McDonald's hashbrowns. It's been rough.

My body is destroyed.

Back from Kicking Horse/barely alive...

So here's what happened: I got the flu. A savage flu. Like the worst flu ever and have basically been struggling for life the past 4 days with outrageous fevers. I think I got it from Kevin who seemed to deal with it much better than me, but what you gonna do.

Anyway, the scene at Kicking Horse is totally different from Revelstoke, the 100cm of new snow didn't really stay so it was mostly packed powder and groomed.

The don't play here in the Rockies.

We were literally a phlegm spit away from the gondola, and just like Revelstoke there was only a handful of lifts. We could see part of the fron't half of the mountain from our balcony.

The main difference between the two places is that Kicking Horse is all about the bowls and alpine. Lots of steeps and crazy mountain views. We were lucky to get clear skies during our stay but no new snow.

There bowls all lead to valleys which are a great cruise after some punishing turns. All about the bowls.

It's also a lot of traversing along the ridges since there's only a few lifts. So basically take the gondola to the top and traverse left/right to the bowl of your choice.

Also lots of nice steep groomers on the bottom half of the mountain. Quite a bit of vertical here.

Here's an example of a hike you gotta do along this ridge. We didn't do it, instead we went down the bowl to the left, I think it was called the Superbowl. That hike led to the Terminator 1 Bowl which is on the other side.

Most of the terrain there is pretty advanced, because everyone who skis KH and Revelstoke are pros. Seriously, it's like watching a ski movie especially at Revelstoke where dudes be flying out of the powder or cliffs. It's true what they say though: at KH people don't tell you how good they are, they show you. We're Joe Nobodys out here. The altitude didn't help much either as the theme of the whole trip was basically being short of breath (constantly).

Anyway, I spent a good day and a half in bed sweating bullets while freezing because of this damn flu before we flew out. It was so not cool.

I barely held to together on the flight back and immediately got a fever once we left the airport. Great.

Anyway, that's the end of that chapter. Bitter sweet. Now back to the death bed.

Bye Bye Revelstoke, Hello Kicking Horse.

Generally speaking this high altitude is killing me. Also, generally speaking all the girls that they hired at Revelstoke Mountain Resort are really really good looking. Like really really. Like the definition of snow bunny.

It's also not really that busy at all here, but of course it's still the working week. So we finished off with a last run through the awesome North face again which still had a lot of snow.

Anyhow, we made the drive to Kicking Horse today and I think we might take it easy tomorrow since it's their busiest day of the year (like literally, the hostess told us), so we're expecting the crowds. It's a long weeken in AB, President's day in the States and Kicking Horse is also closet to Banff/Calgary as well. Also, turns out all you do is walk along the mountain ridge all day to get to the different bowls, since there's only lift access to the top...and apparently it's a much more busy/vicious mountain...so we will see who survives. I'm hoping that it's me.

Revel-STOKED! Yeah, so finally said it.

So we found out where it's at: Revelstoke's North bowl! Why? Because that's where you'll find the reason why you decided to go to the middle of nowhere in the first place. It felt like we wasted a day on the other side of the mountain now that we've seen the light... ...

Check it out. Revelstoke.



We started it off with some steeps.



Then we got down to business. I thought my lungs were going to burst when doing that 10 minute hike to the North face. The only other person who stopped like me was this grandmother. It's quite the view though.



So, I've been throwing around the word powder for a while now but this was it. Not quite 100 cm but enough to make your legs disappear. So far this is the deepest I've experienced so far: mid-thigh.



The best part about 2 foot deep snow is that falling doesn't hurt. Like at all. The worst part? Finding your skis and/or poles afterwards. Here's the view from the top of the one ride we came down from.



Check the view from the bottom of the valley. We came all the way from there and were maybe 2/5 of the way down.



The only problem though the hiking everywhere to get back to a lift. Lots and lots of hiking. Hike to the ridge, ski down the valley, hike through the valley, ski through the glades, hike through the glades.



Lots of breaks.



Good day, but honestly my knees are feeling destroyed already on day 2, like jello. I'm pretty sure that at the end of this season I'm going to buy a snowboard because ski boots are the bain of my existence. I hate walking in boots. Always.

So Kicking Horse got 100 cm of new snow...and we're at Revelstoke...who got snow as well...

Not that much but enough for about knee deep. Of course on the very first run I went head over heels in the new snow. All I remember flying through the air was hoping I don't get injured like immediately on the first run of the first day. I also had trouble finding my one ski that popped up. It was basically fun punishment but more work than expected at that altitude. I can't even imagine what a foot of powder would even look like after this. Extreme ski rentals for sure.

This is where we were staying.



As you can see they get a fair bit of snow here. Snow bank at the McDonalds.



May not look like much but its about of a foot of fresh at 9am.



Around noon it started to melt, was around 0 at the base a little colder up top.



Still some powder around though...



Glades were a little choppy after it melted down...



We couldn't have asked for better weather though.



We got some more snow in the afternoon too. Awesome.



Time to relax.



I'm pretty sure we overdid it today. Actually no joke Kevin just got a calf cramp as I'm typing this sitting down on the bed right now. 5 days of this left.

Hater Quest 2011 - Day 1: Calgary to Revelstoke...the long way

So we made it and it was a struggle. We got into YYC at 10:30 but arrived in Revelstoke at 10...all because of avalanches. A smooth sceneic, 5 hour daytime drive turned into something like 7 hours
in the dark.

The day started off well enough, but with a super early departure...



After some shopping in Calgary for some essentials and a new camera we made our way to Banff. The drive was smooth as silk and the weather a cool 3 degrees. Driving on a 200km straight line stretch is a two person effort don't you know... Brand new Chevy Malibus are crap.



Made it to Banff in record time.



Quick stop off at Lake Louise to catch the view...



We wanted to go to to Moraine Lake but the 18km hike was too intimidating...



Driving to Revelstoke became a shit storm as the highway between Lake Louise and Golden got closed due to avalanches and would not re-open until after 7pm. So the 3 hour drive turned into nearly 5 as we had to backtrack all the way to Radium Springs, then head up north to Golden from another direction.

Once we got to Golden shit got too real as the roads were pure nightmare in the dark. We also found out the highway to Lake Louise was still closed around 8. Now the last leg to Revelstoke...Imagine 20 foot high snow banks, slush on the road that froze over no light form anywhere. That last leg was killer and took twice as long.



Anyway we made it and Revelstoke is a pretty big town compared to Golden at least.

Funny enough there's a Denny's attached to our hotel...I can see this getting even more real unhealthy real fast. It's 11pm now and everyone else has passed out.



Tomorrow we get up early and hit the Stoke.

That new Five Guys Burgers: it's expensive/just alright...

Easy to see why they're raking in the cash since there's minimal expenses at the place (like no trays, heh) and prices are pretty steep. There was also like 12 employees on the line and another 3 just sitting around on break.

Wasn't the greatest thing in the world but I am a hater after all...





There are other options out there to choose from.

I really should be packing right about now but...

Hater Quest 2011: Begins now.

Well actually we don't fly out until tomorrow morning but I'm on vacation now anyway so hate all you want.

Next stop: Calgary, AB



And what a coincidence: the new Traveling Circus just dropped last night too.



Vacation. Starts. Right. Now.

Lots of Black Ops players are haters...

Seriously. We carry you to level 30 and then you rage quit...great job host/hater.



2+ hours wasted and no high score...FFFFFFfFFUUUUUUUUUUUuUUUU......

But this is what 4 hours gets you...Jon and I did it.