Floor Hockey, it's a thing.

Truth be told I don't care about what's going on in the Middle East, it makes no difference to me who the mayor of Toronto is, I'm not going to watch the Oscars, I have no idea what's going on in Haiti, I don't know why people are setting themselves on fire and I could care less about following pro-sports. All I want to know is what's going on this weekend, where am I going for my next vacation, who's playing the next concert and how can I trick girls into liking me.

So yesterday when someone asked, "Where were you for the gold medal game?" I had to pause, think about what game they were talking about, say something dumb, then when I got home check when it was and then look at my calendar see what I was actually doing. Self conscious much? FYI, I was with some buddies drinking craft beer in Vermont and it didn't seem like anyone there cared about what was going on in Buffalo either.

Don't get me wrong I like watching sports and love going to games but when it comes to following some athlete or team on a weekly basis don't expect me to go out of my way to fire up ESPN or update my Fantasy Football picks any time soon. I'm definitely not the type to jump onto any sort of playoff bandwagon either.

This is why I'm a big fan of events like tennis, golf, volleyball, equestrian jumping and even sometimes figure skating (not ice dancing). Why? Because (relatively speaking) events few and far between, you don't really need to be up to date with any standings, it's easy to see who's the top dog and those sports can get intense as shit. Seriously, if you get into it, with equestrian jumping and figure skating it often comes down to one or two super difficult jump everyone is trying to do...and those athletes cry like all the time. Hell, if I could jump in the air on one leg and spin 4 times I'd probably get all the girls...or be totally gay. Anyway, these are all the reasons why I only really follow MMA (and even then I can't say that I'm a fanatic or anything).

Anyhow, now that that's out of way apparently my new thing is 5-v-5 floor hockey. With my limited hockey prowess based solely on sports simulations, it's fun as far as I can tell. I'll try anything so long as it doesn't involve me getting hit in the face (*cough*theshady*cough*)



For a fiercely unfit guy such as myself, it was much more sprinting than I expected (in like all directions) but I guess some of my golf/tennis/shooting hand eye came into use as I was able to move the ball around pretty well. I also believe that I'm an awesome dancer so that last statement could be totally false.

While I did feel my dinner creeping up on me in a non-delicious fashion a couple times, at least my aorta didn't bust out of my neck at some point - thank goodness for line changes. I can see that my time spent on the elliptical and stair-master didn't translate to well to sports which involve heavy sprinting/flailing your body in multiple directions. Note to self: stretch your groin next week to avoid an awkward wake up.

Anyway, I look forward to stepping my game up and at some point getting my own stick...and eventually winning (or record is 0-2), but I've made it through even worse droughts, so it ain't no thang.

And to conclude, thanks for your input random citizen... Cheers to inconveniencing us all with your lack of fiber, but I commend you for returning with a pen to let us know...unless you already had it on you, in which case I hope you lend it to someone and they never know the truth...



Is it Friday yet?