Get your WOK on. Snails and clams in black bean chili sauce.

Because I didn't get this amazing physique by not knowing how to cook anything, I thought I'd share with you one of my favorite snacks that I made over the weekend: snails in black bean chili sauce. This time I threw a couple clams in there for good measure but this so called "recipe" is the same.

I use the word recipe extremely loosely because I generally don't know what I'm talking about it changes every time I make it, but this is my best guess as to what I used. Basically if you're gonna try this, adjust the ingredients to your liking and taste it - if it tastes good then its good.

Here are the culprits:
- 3 lbs snails (wash your seafood)
- 1 lb clams
- 1 big nub of ginger
- 4 cloves garlic
- 20 dried chilis (because I love spicy food)
- 1/4 cup chinese cooking wine
- 1/4 cup water
- 1 tbsp black bean and garlic paste
- 1 tbsp oyster sauce
- 1 tsp soy sauce
- dash of sugar

It's dead easy. Grab your wok, heat some oil up and dump in the garlic, chilis and ginger. Fry them up for a bit to release the goodness and then throw in the black bean paste. Fry it for about a half a minute longer then stir in everything else plus the snails.

Let it steam for about 10-12 minutes but half way through throw in the clams, since they won't take as long. Its pretty forgiving and won't turn into vulcanized rubber instantaneously so don't sweat over it too much.

It's done when the clams open up. Finish off with some corn starch slurry to thicken the sauce as much as you'd like, then grab a stack of napkins, tooth picks and a couple cold ones because you'll be there for a while.

Hate it or love it, I'm still gonna eat it.